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Clyde Derrick's Blog: Finding Peace

Can you find peace without family?

Family, damn, now there's a discussion. Can you have peace in this life without family? I'm kind of thinking, shouldn't the question be, can you find peace in life with family? I may not be the wisest person, but I have come to understand that most of the drama in this human existance comes from people who claim to love you, be it family by blood or family by marriage. The only other place you would expect to find trouble, heartache and pain is on the job.

I personally can tell you, looking back over my life all the pain and mental suffering I have gone through has come from family , including two ex-wives. Looking back, I think to myself, what would my life have been like if I moved far far away from family and only spoke via telephone? Then I ponder, what if I hadn't divorced my first wife, how much more peace would I have lived in since I never would have married my second, very evil wife?

The problem with this look back is, in most cases, like with mine, it takes years for the true nature of your family to reveal itself, because you start adult life with the fantasy version of what your mother, father, sister and brother are; that's why you see people in their mid thirties finally coming to grips with the fact that their father was an abusive alcoholic, and their mother was emotionally detached. Maybe they wake up to the fact that, their great protective big brother was really a bully who always had to have things go their way. It can be a very different picture in your head at thirty-five than was there at twenty-five, and that picture is likely to change again at forty-five when you realize a few more, should have been obvious details about your family members; and there's always the new batch of family stepping into adulthood, assholes everyone. Well, maybe one or two come out okay. Optimism right?

So to have a discussion about needing a family to have peace is kind of like saying, can you have peace despite being bullied, abused, used, neglected, marginalizes, put down, talk about, abandoned, disrespected and made to feel like you are a complete nothing in their eyes.

On the other hand, how good must it be having a really great family that shows unconditional love equally to everyone in the family. A family that loves and supports each other and get this, actually owns up to their mistakes? What is it like to sit around a table laughing and joking, a family that celebrates seeing a loved one for the first time in a very long time? That's a description I cannot give having not experience it, but I've seen it on TV and it looks great.

So what's the conclusion? F... family, find peace. Sorry, that's all I've got.

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Clyde Derrick's Blog: Finding Peace

Can you find peace without money?

What do you do every day? You wake, get dressed, eat some food then you do what for the next eight to ten hours? Do you have fun? Do you laugh and play? Do you celebrate life and good health? No, you don't, you don't celebrate the ability to breathe; what you do is, you work all day long to earn some paper that you get to hand over to credit card companies, bill collectors, grocery stores, car payments and at least three different types of insurance payments, and of course, rent or mortgage. If you are lucky enough to make a little money above all these payments and after you take care of children, save a little for unexpected bills in the future and maybe put a little aside for retirement, you might have some money left to do something nice for yourself and that special someone.

The question is asked, can you find peace without money and the answer is no, point blank, you can't. How can you be at peace if you don't have food to eat or a roof over your head. Even if you have a roof over your head, what if you can't pay the electric bill to keep the lights on, then what? Can you be at peace under those circumstances? So does that mean the path to peace is riches? It sounds like it does but, it does not, it simply means in this life you must make enough money to get by every day and then you can set your mind to be at peace. You don't have to be rich, you don't need the biggest house and you don't need the latest model car, but you do need food, a place to stay and hot running water.

For most Americans that's like having nothing because we're taught to have more than the next person. We're taught that there is no such thing as having too much house, hell, if you have ten rooms but only two children, that's more than fine, it just means you are very successful and in America everyone celebrates greed, I mean success.

You're thinking what exactly is your point Derrick, ok well here it is. Yes you can have it all in America but, do you really need it all? You can have five extra rooms in your house but, do you really need five extra rooms? You could buy the latest model every four years but, if your car is running fine, can you drive it a few more years since it's paid off?

Your mind can never be at rest and in peace if your needs can never be met; you'll always be chasing after the wind. Allow yourself to let go of the American version of success and take a walk on the beach or a beautiful path every day if you can, because you never know when that will be the last time you get to soak in all that beauty.

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